When I started writing Tey Do Hun (Tale of a Hero) in The Elder Scrolls world I had no idea there were so many blogs devoted to a certain type of story: that is, the story of the non-hero. The less-than-mighty Nondrick in Livin’ in Oblivion was the original, but the first I found was Pyrelle’s Misadventures of Zander. He led me on to many others.

The idea is simple: Tell the story of a character in an Elder Scrolls game, but a character not destined to become The Hero of Everything. Someone who avoids conflict rather than thrives on it. Someone who hears an NPC’s cries for help and wonders if she can sneak away quietly before she ends up having to take on a whole bandit camp by herself. The idea is to play as an NPC.

There was no way I wasn’t going to try this out.

So here’s my contribution to the increasingly populated band of non-heroes: Mu, Khajiit non-warrior, not a great thief, suspiciously untalented, and totally unprepared for the trials that will follow. Also, determined to remain unprepared.

The rules, as greater writers than myself have laid down:

1. No reloads. Dead is dead for poor Mu. Also, getting thrown in jail means getting thrown in jail, even if all she did was try to pickpocket someone for a few coins. Mu might spend a lot of time in jail.

2. No fast travel. Mu is leery of magical transportation devices, and anyway she won’t have access to Google Tamriel Maps. Carriages are fine.

3. Real people need food and rest. So does Mu. We can assume she’s drinking water and using the toilet (since there’s no way to make that happen in-game) but everything else does not happen unless she makes it happen.

4. Mu is not a hero. She will make her way without turning into a celebrated adventurer, steel-clad warrior or fancy-pants wizard. If she joins a guild it will be within her character to do so.

I don’t have access to mods, so I won’t be able to make things more difficult that way, but I will pay attention to things like “Standing in the snow for hours” and “Getting wet then going for a long, chilly walk.” Mu has fur, which is helpful, but Skyrim has a lot of ice and snow.

I must also apologize for the quality of my screenshots. They’re the best I can do with my current setup, and it’s damned difficult to take a good picture while I’m being hit in the face with an axe.