It’s a beautiful day on the beach!

Polar bear swim, anyone??

And what a way to wake up! In my own tent, with a great view, and an attentive dog only an awkward summoning away. I love it. The horkers are horking, the waves are lapping, and I’m going to continue along this beach while I eat an apple and appreciate the world. Ahhh.

Good Madgod it’s cold. Even with my fur and hood and gloves I’m shivering. There are some neato towers rising from islands off the coast but I can’t imagine swimming over to them. I’d be a catsicle in no time.

A long cold swim followed by a long cold climb. Mmm, refreshing! Let’s not.

Nothing’s growing here, either. There are no weeds or moss or grapes to pick, that’s for sure. I see a campfire up ahead and run over, but it turns out to be something rather different than a campfire. I think someone may in fact have exploded right here.

But they already exploded. Not: “I’m about to explode.” Right? Right.

At least I find some spiky grass to harvest, and a book that claims to offer the secrets of a flame cloak. That sounds warm and cozy. I take it with me, but I’m starting to think it’s time to head away from the coast.

I start to climb the tallest mountain ever, up a snowy slope away from the ocean. My boots slip a bit but mostly I get traction. I dispatch a few wolves and end up looking back over my shoulder to see what a marvellous view it is. I don’t pause long, though, because there are icicles forming on my whiskers, and even Yarp seems frostier than usual.

I see a lighthouse above us! Warm and inviting!

Maybe the horse hit some rocks coming into port.

It’s weird they haven’t cleared up the dead horse sitting outside the place, though. But I’m sure being a lighthouse worker is a really demanding job. You can’t deal with every domestic animal that drops dead on your doorstep.

I’m going in.

The first thing I see is a naked woman on the floor. I say, Yikes, you guys had some party, hey? Sorry I missed it, ya know? Hello?

Maybe… not.

Playing dead is hilarious. Playing, though. Are we playing?

There’s definitely a dead person in this room. And blood. And everything has been strewn around the floor. I edge toward the fire to warm up, and call Yarp to watch my back. There’s a funny crackling sort of skitter coming from somewhere around here and I don’t want to meet it.

It occurs to me that someone did this. It was a murder–or murders–and I could investigate. If I was a hero.

It also occurs to me that the murderer might still be here.

And then there’s this… thing, by the fire.

Heavily armored, yet extremely dead. What a combo.

Don’t ask me what it is. I don’t know! But it’s massive and scaled and it has pinchers the size of my head.

The skittering noise is getting closer.

I grab a health potion and something else that promises to resist frost, because this woman clearly doesn’t need them anymore. I’m about to skidaddle when I notice a torchbug in a jar on the mantlepiece. This reminds me of something–What? I can’t remember–And I feel a little sorry for it stuck there on its own, so I take it with me. Something to light up the darkness, I think, and I can feed it crushed flowers. We’re starting to make rather a nice family, the dead dog and the bug and I, aren’t we? Aw.

Ack! Concentrate, Mu! Fleeing the skittering murderer now.

There’s some sort of ruin on the mountainside, so I avoid that and continue on what seems to be a path. I meet my first ice wolf, who’s pretty darn tough, and just about run into an ice crevice that’s equally vicious. There are more ruins at its base. Yarp and I take a glance but we’re still not interested.

You first. No, you first.

I’m getting cold again but I’m having a hard time getting off this stupid iceberg. Every time I get to the edge there’s a sheer drop down. My feet are freezing. I just about slip through more than one crack.

I’m feeling sort of stupid, so when we encounter a mammoth frozen in ice I just about wet myself in fear.

I think Yarp laughs a bit as he howls.

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